Alternate Reality TV

Tune in with the multi-verse monitor
and find out what's on all those other dimensional channels.

On the roof of The Whitehouse, the greatest swordsman on Earth explains the benefits of term life insurance to the guy from 'Trading Places' who was sooo interested. in the 'nice purse' in midwinter.

200 multi-verse variables are listed in the table below.

You can combine them to tune in new scenes by rolling two D20's five times.

Roll 1 Roll 2
Roll 3
Roll 4
Roll 5
In a Victorian Drawing Room a seated fish is drinking coffee with A chocolate lamp post in midwinter.
Among the twisting maze of pipes in the basement of a gasworks a well dressed little boy is aiming a revolver at a bit of lemon peel as a chill breeze blows.
On a 3 masted Tall ship The Frankenstein Monster is demonstrating coin tricks for a portrait of Churchill in a pouring rain.
In a corridor within a lunar base a very intelligent iguana is dealing a hand of blackjack to the first emperor in Chinese history on the hottest day of the year.
In a jungle clearing Thomas Edison is throwing a dirty diaper at a live koala glued to the back wall of a pizza parlor in the darkness of a foggy night.
In a microscopic hollow, inside a brick Sherlock Holmes is polishing a pile of bowling balls with the help of a rhino in a tuxedo on a beautiful spring morning.
Under a shaky concrete bridge Hamlet is cooking chicken over a fire in order to feed a cupboard full of dirty dishes during the tremors of a mild earthquake.
On the roof of the whitehouse an animated and intelligent snowshoe is arguing fiercely with a rubber replica of a cocoanut as a tornado approaches.
In a pressurized dome on the Ocean floor A tall, brunette fashion model wearing a jogging suit claps two chalkboard erasers over the top of an airline serving cart as the humidity rises.
In a spacious treehouse the greatest swordsman on Earth is getting a haircut from the god Zeus at the height of a blizzard.
On the open prairie a ninja on stilts is watching a comedy on television with Mister Ed as the sun goes down.
In the glove compartment of a Rolls-Royce the Surgeon General is ripping up a pamphlet and throwing the pieces at Gammera during a violent a hailstorm.
On the top of a giant turtle a plumber waves a flag with a smiley face at identical twin dwarf warriors in a high wind.
Inside a giant, hollow, plastic pink flamingo the bishop of Westminster is stomping on mechanical beetles so that they can't get to a classic 1920's "flapper" girl in the murky morning light.
 In a neighborhood coffee shop a sparkling, talking cloud is telling bad jokes and riddles without answers to an alligator standing on its hind legs, wearing a monocle and waistcoat as fireballs fall randomly from the sky.
In a vast abandoned movie theatre a lizardman who looks like Yogi Bear plays angelic music on a glass harp for Gandalf as the locust swarm approaches.
In a vast sub-terainean cavern a beautiful Drow bootmaker poses for a portrait being painted by Fabio and every sound echoes.
On the surface of a mile-square mirror the Maytag repairman is cutting out paper snowflakes and handing them to Cthulu as the light keeps flickering.
On the Roof of a SanFrancisco cable car Rudolph the red nosed reindeer is juggling torches with Rasputin and stomping the swarm of red ants that have arrived.
While climbing up the down escalator Ebenezer Scrooge is balancing 2 bowls of ice water on the Mayor of Cleveland but time is speeding up.
Under a vinyl pool covering in Patterson NJ
Michelangelo's David
explains the benefits of term life insurance to
a werewolf with a hoolahoop
with a lava flow rapidly approaching.
At the salad bar of a rooftop restaurant
smears hot mud onto a playing card and hands it to
as a dynamite siren blares nearby.
Tunneling through the rubble of the Stardust Casino
an Andorian accountant
tries to impersonate a giant spider, but does not impress
Victor Hugo in a cardboard barrel
while the air is getting choked with soot.
Perched at the top of an Incan temple
a Russian bus driver with the flu
slams a rubber swordfish against his/her/it's own back, highly distressing
the guy from "Trading Places" who was sooo interested. in the "nice purse"
and it's believed everything yellow is about to disappear.
On a very large sled speeding down the side of a snow covered mountain
a 30 year old wadded up cotton rag soaked with kitchen grease that has suddenly become "self
shoots spitballs at
the first person Leonardo DaVinci ever accidentally bumped into
as a shower of tinfoil strips materializes out of thin air.
In the orchard where the  actual grapefruit grew that was used so rudely by James Gagney
A Chicago hot dog vendor
makes elephant noises as if his/her/its life depended on it in order to protect
Robby the Robot who is performing jumping larriet rope tricks
and they can't hear themselves think because of the 10 thousand tubas playing.
In the haunted basement of an abandoned penetentiary
the winner of the all USA spelling Bee competition
smacks those little red roll cap-gun caps with a hammer because the smell really annoys
the first human being to bungee jump
and two little red sniper dots of laser light appear on both of them.
On the surface of an Alka Seltzer Tablet  descending toward a mug of boiling bleach
Ricky Ricardo, sporting a fresh black eye and wearing an evening gown
tries to force lumps of cold sauerkraut into a hollow magic 8-Ball so he/she/it can give it to
the original guy who hung from the hardhat in the first superglue commercial
ignoring the swarm of driverless "big wheels" heading their way.
In the lobby of New Swann Castle
Somebody in that big Koolaid pitcher costume
pulls out a wooden switchblade and tries to scare
Abbie Hoffman, who won't get off his cell phone
as their bones become glass without them knowing it.
Deep within the carnival's house of mirrors
Margaret Dumont
is stirring microchips into a bowl of kasha and is about to serve it to Smokey the Bear, presently trapped in a sensory deprivation tank as every surface around them seems to be spontaneously growing its own Urban graffiti.
Depicted on a television screen mounted to the wall of an elevator shaft
Adrienne Barbeau
breaks hundreds of umbrellas, one after another while staring accusingly at
the guy who completely made up the George Washington Cherry Tree - hatchet story
but the smell of banana peels halts all activity.
On the Pennsylvania Turnpike, just a few yards north of exit 36b
an industrial robot arm with a Halloween mask of  Nixon on the end of it
tries to make a "silly string" bridge over the top of
Godzilla who is tightly gripping his coloring book collection
but failure is pre-determined, as is the outbreak of loose hermit crabs on every surface.
At the main branch of Barnes and Noble in Manhattan
a member of the MardiGra clean-up crew wearing a kevlar business suit
reads a transcript of "The adventures of the Blue Beetle" to
Pippi Longstocking, who refuses to stop saying "pull my finger" as she grins
despite the nerve gas recently flooding the area.
In one of the women's bathrooms at Linden Labs
that poor guy dressed as a bellhop that spent his entire life screaming "Call for Phillip Morris!"
is drawing a skull and crossed bones with a felt tipped laundry marker on
A Great Dane wearing a sandwich board that reads  VICTORY!
while a torrent of lavender paint rains down from above.
Inside that giant, wierd useless cage in Gadgetzan
a balloon sculpture that looks exactly like Judy from Lost in Space
levitates with a bucket of Goblin Pee threatening to pour it on
the ghost of Captain Kangaroo
and the air is becoming as thick as mollasses.
On the sidewalk in front of the Tick-Tock Diner in manhattan
The Iron Giant Robot
is putting on a pair of rollerblades, and getting ready to go skating with
the Lady of Chalot who is wearing a bike helmet and carrying a wet, black paint brush
but everywhere they stand feels like crumbling bags of fortune cookies.
At the very top of that long slanty ledge of desert rock where they filmed nearly all of the
outdoor Classic Star Trek episodes
The Staypuffed Marshmallow man
is beating out a rhythm on the tight skin of a tribal drum attempting to evoke a fit of primitive
dancing from
Cecille B. Demille who is trying to play "Fanfare for the Common Man" on the spoons
as the international dateline solidifies and breaks free, sweeping across the planet, like the
edge of a curved  razor blade scraping over a peach.
On the planet Ceti Alpha 3
anim5 with his eyes closed
is throwing fragile knick knacks straight up into the air and hoping that they don't land on his head or the head of
a nearby wobbling inflated punching clown
and the local gravity is double what it should be.
Inside the putrid dumpster behind a convenience store in Blithold, New mexico
a French plasterer with too much coffee in him
tries to pull the arms off of
Jack Nicholson's chiropractor
while an unseen stranger hums "Oh, Holy Night".
At the world ice-sculpture competitions
the very first human being who ever danced
using stacks of AOL discs, creates a wall around
Abbot and Costello with their mouths taped shut despite the drizzle of Real Lemon


© 2008 - anim5 - "International Detective Dragons From Outer Space"
- See also "Who's Arathi?" - The 10 foot tall Dice Tower  and "Dysfunctional D&D"