100 Random Amateur Gods

Quinkit Ahah - The ''scale challenged'' demoted demigod of knowledge. ‘Accidentally killed a large segment of a village population by dropping a divine scroll of wisdom upon them. Sadly, the scroll was 46 feet long and ten feet around. It weighed four tons.

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     1       Bluntonnimo - The god of feeling sorry for the crappy scissors and not throwing them away.
     2       AHHfff - The dread deity of dropping heavy things on your foot.
     3       Sunnuva - The arch spirit of getting bruised for the fiftieth time by that sharp cornered desk.
     4       Nogginnoe - The administrative sub assistant deity of hernia recovery.
     5       PippipFnooh - The mystery being of prolonged sneezing fits.
     6       Uvcorse - The demi-demon of causing your cart, wagon or carriage to be broken EXACTLY when you need it most.
     7       Yooovoctomain - The malevolent imp of causing MORE weeds to appear instantly after you have spent HOURS
weeding your garden.
     8       HooChebnaCack - The dark lord of nearly choking on a drink that went down ''the wrong pipe''.
     9       Whahbbu Sett - The haunting demon of discovering the PERFECT thing you could have said, days after an argument.
     10       OhShuttit - The irritating spirit king of being really bad at pretending to cry.
     11       Cheepohmia - The bitter goddess of jewelry that turns your skin green.
     12       Disgusto - The whimsical goddess of falling asleep in the outhouse.
     13       Dippignicko - The dire devil of going into a rage and throwing something cheap, only to hit and
break something expensive.
     14       IleShowYou - The demi-deity of unpredictably making it rain backwards.
     15       HehmommaGrip - The welcome goddess of improbable hand holds at the edge of deadly cliffs.
     16       RODEsnort - The nearly powerful. Responsible for making all souvenir shops smell like cedar and cinnamon.
     17       Perfecto - The snickering god of ugly ink blots at the very end of perfectly scribed documents.
     18       Tangulok - The insidious demi-demon of ropes and cordage that hopelessly tangle up all by themselves.
     19       BeggaBorth - The deceptive, junior god of convincing you that you're perfectly capable of digging a trench,
and halfway through, clenching your lower back into a knot that won't allow you to walk properly for DAYS.
     20       SemSizagoth - The fateful father of waking up in a local jail cell and remembering NOTHING.
     21       HozzmiPopp - Sub-Deity of spreading that nightmare where you appear in the Royal Court wearing no pants and
a tunic made of half-eaten hot wings.
     22       AssistoFachia - The dazed god of helping turn your grimace of pain into a smiling rictus, as you wear stolen boots
that are far too tight for you.
     23       BrekkaSmoo - The dread lord of guiding your foot to the sharpest object in the beach sand.
     24       PunkGarbijjo - The ArchDemon of spurring you on to lie more often and at higher volume, when your blatantly
obvious falsehoods are proven wrong.
     25       Parasittico - The administrative sub assistant deity in charge of scenarios where you get your entire
adventuring party killed by relentlessly fawning over your pet.
     26       ShuppMalio - The bitter Demon of punches to the face when you spend an entire month saying exactly the wrong
things to everyone.
     27       CollorOpterus - The righteous demigod of visiting swift and terrible punishment to all creatures who ever cut
in line ahead of you.
     28       Herricottimus - The Divine Mistress of every successful home remedy involving potatoes.
     29       OhmFoolia - The benevolent mother of no accidental cuts while shaving.
     30       Hobennifak - The kind god of getting people to actually look up at magical sky writing. (Teaching them to read
is somebody else's department.)
     31       GregImmo - The trickster god that compels evil foreign enemies to speak in easily understood common while being
spied on.
     32       Pishokohlith - The contemptuous demon of cooking for 2 hours and cleaning up and washing dishes for 45 minutes,
all for a meal that is eaten in 10 minutes.
     33       Micktellius - The Sub-Deity of assuring you have the single coolest outfit at an archery competition. You may
not hit a target, but your tailoring is PERFECT.
     34       Geddimossfaceloss - The indifferent sub-demon of loud baby crying and random dog barking during a moving and
dramatic speech.
     35       GrickWoggipole - The wicked demi-god of keeping giant bugs from falling to pieces under their own weight.
     36       Thumputtickor - The popular god of sounding off ominous peels of thunder immediately after you have made a
profound statement.
     37       PACE - A godly being of meticulous impatience. 'Administers direct lightning strikes to the members of your party
who decide they can grind everything to a halt and discuss peaceful alternatives in the middle of a massive combat encounter.
     38       ARRyookidink - Blessed Sword of Light that instantly disintegrates all ignorant swine who arrive halfway through
a stage play, and lean over to a stranger saying ''I'm late. What did I miss?''.
     39       DimWittius - The universally detested archdemon in charge of people who just can't shut their mouths for 2 seconds.
     40       NaaghBoppo - The hilarious demi-fiend of pedestrians in large cities being doused by chamber pots dumped
from above.
     41       ShuTEH'helup - The Infuriating demi-god of all obtuse magistrates and rude town guards who won't listen to
the ends of any sentences, but INSIST you are guilty.
     42       FuggoNorious - The dull witted sub-god of melting and minting priceless gold antiquities into common currency.
     43       UHM'huh - The Lordly demi-god of never asking why the ghosts who assaulted you were all wearing clothing.
     44       Bravvurahh - The noble goddess of convincing your party NOT to burn down the mansion of whichever evil adversary
you're hunting as you wait comfortably outside.
     45       Downisha - The Holy emissary who grants the power to cast the ''Wall of Chocolate Cake'' spell.
     46       InChankittep - The sub-assistant demon in charge of wicked spell tomes that leap from their bookstands and
attempt to bite the crotches of curious scholars.
     47       HarkitBemue - The fledgling god of all cursed magic items that give you a nosebleed.
     48       Joksonue - The trickster demi-god of convincing adventurers to buy horses and a wagon in order to explore dense
forests and swamps.
     49       NickSlamicus - The obtuse arch demon of making sure you or your whole group of friends are captured and bound
to a sacrificial altar, no matter WHAT you do.
     50       PoorBabious - The ONLY deity in any pantheon that actually CARES if you have a cold or a migraine while you
are engaged in deadly combat. She does nothing about it, but she CARES.
     51       Yootherumpik - The only aspiring god that prays to YOU. At unpredictable and random moments throughout the day
there will be devout supplications, usually asking for hygiene aids and toiletries.
     52       Firrlmmm - The benevolent divine mother presiding over the utter BLISS of slipping back under the covers after
adding a log to the fire.
     53       Libber Ah CHEE - Punishes bad Bards by stripping away all of their musical skill with lutes or flutes or mandolins,
and replacing it with the singular talent of playing a grand piano. Displeasing this muse will result in VERY difficult road
travel, dungeon navigation and cross-country adventuring.
     54       Ohmfkingah - Crawling pain devil who detests tooth fairies. Visits you in the middle of the night, steals any
coin you have on your person and inflicts you with an excruciating toothache.
     55       Ducktaculo - The invasive goddess of duck possession. If called upon with sincerity in worship, she will turn a
cluster of normal water fowl into ballistic mallards at your disposal.
     56       Bennikulan - The dread demon of sadistic chrono loops. This hellish entity will wait for you to fall awkwardly
on your face, preferably while carrying something expensive and fragile. It will then skip back time and repeat the fall and
breakage three times at high speed.
     57       Instigulo - The passive sub deity of visual irony. 'Invades the mind of the most violent and brutal barbarian,
convincing him to have a beautiful baby lamb and an adorable ducky tattoo'ed on his chest.
     58       Vividayo - The demi god of mercantile justice. 'Enchants street peddlers and hawkers, causing them to shout only
the TRUTH about the wares in their carts. ''Barely usable flour sifters! Disgustingly stale vegetables! Tasteless spices from
years past! Overpriced garbage for the unwary!''
     59       Astronomo - The trickster god of bad navigation. 'Brings about party-wide hallucinations wherein the ancient
constellations have disappeared and the stars are moved to spell out very vulgar insults.
     60       Tong Nongulipter - The world wide sub assistant demigod, devoted solely to the correct spelling and pronunciation of
     61       Breckeeno - The Trickster Demon of disorientation. For reasons still unknown, will select a small town or settlement
and rotate it 90 degrees and move it physically 14 feet to the East.
     62       Quinkit Ahah - The ''scale challenged'' demoted demigod of knowledge. ‘Accidentally killed a large segment of a
village population by dropping a divine scroll of wisdom upon them. Sadly, the scroll was 46 feet long and ten feet
around. It weighed four tons.
     63       Roulletimus - An aspiring god of wish granting. 'Attempts to grant your wish, not by changing the universe around
you, but shifting you to a universe where what you desire is true. Unfortunately Roulletimus has bad aim and may send
you to a plane where you have the teeth of an angler fish, metallic hair and seven legs.
     64       SoapOhgond - The dim seraph with full control of load bearing walls. If you pray to SoapOhgond to open a locked
door, she will remove the door. Also the door frame and the entire wall it is set in. This will usually result in the collapse
of the floor above you.
     65       Umbulario - The cherub of divine punishment. Uses 7 million gallons of karo syrup and mustard to flood towns
and villages.
     66       Yorgrammachi - The bitter demi-goddess who causes ''room quakes''. Floors, walls and ceilings remain perfectly
still, but all objects inside the room, ( aquariums - sofas - harps etc. ) will crash violently in all directions for a full
minute, so kiss it all goodbye.
     67       Clutcheriss - The paranoid warding god of anti-theft. Clutcheriss interprets the phrase
''. . would steal anything if it's not nailed down.''
literally. Worshippers may occasionally awaken in their homes to find ALL of their possessions actually nailed down.
     68       Strictoidihmo - The grim assistant angel of badly taught mathematics. 'Uses terms like Coefficient, Binomial and
Hypotenuse without explaining any of them. Victims of this angel will be cursed for life, never to acquire any further
knowledge of numbers beyond addition, subtraction or division.
     69       Mutoomah - The patron god of all stereotypical merchants who bite gold coins to determine if they're real. Devotees
of Mutoomah are less likely to become deathly ill or lose their teeth.
     70       Gardrifficus - The trickster demon who randomly replaces ancient hieroglyphic symbols on tomb walls, with ancient
images of grinning chimps standing on their heads.
     71       Bumpominon - An obscure, but very ancient god, known only by an elderly couple living in Whumper Bog.
This barely alive being grants them the power to take turns transforming each other into Wooly Mammoths and
shearing each other to sell the wool.
     72       DungGrenade - Vicious demi-demon of violence and deceit. A hulking, orange beast with yellow hair. Divides all
species with fear, greed, hatred and falsehoods. Pits whole continents into war with each other to watch the carnage, but
becomes bored easily if he's not worshiped and adored often enough. Known also as ''The Tantrum Throwing Infant Parasite''.
     73       Bouwemboor - The god of making sure that there is a hay bale, water barrel, dung cart or some sort of soft-landing
rubbish . . . directly under any window you leap from.
     74       Chamarick - The helpful mini-goddess of maze solving. Chamarick hates to witness her followers wandering in a
dungeon with false turns and dead ends. She therefore miraculously transforms the entire maze into one long straight
hallway. Worshippers of this divine power have often wished she would not, as it makes them fully visible to every monster
in the labyrinth for several hundred yards.
     75       Hoblead - The outcast angel of visiting your home as a guest one night, eating all of your snacks and staying
until 3:30 in the morning.
     76       YooWamikka - The trickster god of alteration. 'Changes the banners, flags and standards of armies meeting on the
field of battle. Where once they may have displayed heraldry or threats, they will suddenly display fuzzy yellow ducklings
or phrases like: ''We Are Ignorant Turds'' or ''Our King is a Greedy Idiot''.
     77       KeekSpank - An oddly powered goddess of unique magic. Devout worshippers of KeekSpank may speak the word
''pomegranate'' and she will solidify the word and send one speeding toward an enemy's face at 800 miles per hour. Results
may vary. See Temple for details.
     78       Morohteroo - The punished deity of corpse removal. Adventurers punch, chop or melt their enemies to death in a
matter of minutes. Then they go on about their merry way, oblivious to the mess they've made. Morohteroo is tasked with lugging
away the bodies while no one is looking.
     79       Haha HOO - The inspirational goddess of battle re-enactments. When any group of adventurers regail a crowd with
the story of an epic fight, they will be blessed by Haha HOO with the ability to portray it in super-slow motion.
     80       Insohbork - The aspiring god of originating stupid names for food. Insohbork inspired '' bubble and squeak'' -
''toad in the hole'' - ''figgy duff'' - ''Yams'' and ''kumquats''.
     81       Dappia Spood - An outcast angel (not fallen, just evicted for violating her lease) observes epic battles among
mortals. When it is clear who the victors will be, she prevents their generals from becoming too proud and arrogant by
covering their heads with a hard, mud pack facial skin treatment.
     82       Nymee Sprak - The mind twisting sub-god of making sure shop keepers of towns that are in great danger, give you
and your party absolutely NOTHING to help combat the menace threatening their existence.
     83       ReePeevicka -The mysterious matron of punishing all who use tired and meaningless cliches. If she hears anyone
in the world speak the phrase ''You drive a hard bargain'' - - She will arrive in an explosive FLASH and demand that she be
shown this ''bargain'' and given the reins. When no such vehicle is produced, she will pack the speaker's mouth with raw flour
and administer a public caning.
     84       CrackleCHIPP - The forgotten and unappreciated god of gathering meteors together into one spot up in the sky,
so they can be used for pummeling tiny areas. 'Works like a slave and gets no recognition or thanks for it. His bitterness
causes him to make other god's coffee go cold 3 times faster than normal. He also eggs their chariots.
     85       Humuvum - The god of all smug warriors who lean backward on two chair legs, almost falling over, but catching
themselves at the last second. Humuvum will observe this and wait for the adventurer to stand, shoving them sideways over
the chair, hopefully to break a leg on both.
     86       Ekiniddna - A cranky goddess. 'Punishes her clergy on occasion by making a massive sign appear high on the front
of her temple. It has heavenly bright glowing letters. It manifests when there are large crowds moving through the city.
It reads: ''FREE BEER''.
     87       Churk Bammo - A trickster ''jump scare'' god who focuses an adventurer's attention to their right, then their
left . . . then back to their right, where a hideous monster out of nowhere will suddenly be in their face.
     88       Lauripett - The benevolent goddess of all good doggies who reveal evil in disguise with manic barks and growls.
     89       Torffollik - An elusive god who inspired villagers all over the world to invent the ''Lycanthra-Whapper''.
A loose Knit woolen sock filled with finely ground powdered silver.
''Smack that werewolf in the kisser and send it off howling ... Lycanthra-Whapper!''(tm)
     90       RaggSkimmer - The fulltime anti-faceplant imp in charge of keeping wizards from stepping on the front of their
robes and tripping forward.
     91       Slapstickoomow - The god of amusing spit takes from humans trying to drink sizzling acid ''golem ale''.
     92       Pohb Yool - A less than popular sub-god with the ability to grant anyone master level expertise at playing the
kettle drums.
     93       Theresa - The puzzled demi-goddess. She has spent hundreds of years transporting random Aristocracy, Nobility
and Royalty from this world to their own exclusive plane of rich resources and mild weather. As often as she returns to that
plane, she repeatedly discovers her transported authority figures dead from starvation or murder.
     94       BIGBOSSisCOMING - The demon god of all captured minions who spew out every kind of relentless, worthless
nonsense instead of answering a simple, straight forward question.
     95       Gausia - The frustrating goddess of blurring or blanking letters and numbers in your dreams.
     96       Sribbyoolow - The DemiGod of deplorable handwriting.
     97       Pennokso - The trickster god of convincing you to construct a costume for a grand celebration. A costume so
complex, it is nearly impossible to remove when suddenly needing to use the out house.
     98       RageSwat - The spectator god of self-inflicted injury while trying to chase down and kill a housefly.
     99       Unguinna - A pleasant young goddess who presides over the yearly award ceremony for the most successful assassin
in the world. The killer with a 100% success rate.
Not a well attended event, as all the gods know it's going to be "Nature". . . . . again.
     100       Boom - The patron god of alchemist's eyebrow recovery.

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