100 Random Battle Insults
Acchhh . . . Go home and eat yer crayons, ye totterin', dim eyed walkin' stomach ache!
Accept the results above, Or press "Roll Again",
Or scroll down and roll your own percentile dice for random numbers,
Or just pick what you want from below. It's your adventure.
100 random shouts to taunt your enemies with in combat.
Many argue that they sound BEST if screamed in an exagerated foreign accent.
Remember though, that properly edited, these biting comments can become friendly
and affectionate greetings between old friends. Example:
"Alexander! Ye beer swillin', diaper faced, centipede's nightmare! I haven't seen you in a dog's age! How have ye been?"
d100 - Insults
1 Go home an' pose in front o' the mirror some more, ye duck-knee'd, dung munchin' crap sack!
2 Stand up straight! Plant your feet! Guard with yer FACE! Ye baby stealin', rum guzzlin' hiney scrubber!
3 Have a face full o' me boot ye jelly boned, thumb suckin' crud bucket!
4 Put this bag on yer head! I dinna want to see yer face when I run ye through, Ye mouth breathin', week-old pot of onion pudding!
5 Go slam a gate on yer head, ye' pig faced, butt scratchin' scurvy baboon!
6 Congratulations! Ye've unlocked the GETTIN' KILLED achievement! Ye skunk arsed, grovellin' bag o' monkey spoor!
7 Come 'ere an' have a cutlass sandwich ye jumped up, crap combin', chunk O' bat spit!
8 Gonna turn ye into a bird feeder, ye lumberin', moss eatin' cheapskate's bar rag!
9 Get back here! I ain't done punchin' yer head, ye lard brained screechy gobshyte!
10 Ye'll make a fine rat feast, ye Mommy punchin', noodle spined vinegar bucket!
11 The back O' me hand to yer snivelin' mouth ye syphilitic, puppy killin' slimey bastitch!
12 When we're done here, there won't be enough left of ye to make a beetle's chew toy, ye garbage pickin', pickle brained kitten stomper!
13 Try ta' miss me when ye keel over ye rabid, nose pickin', worthless streak O' pee!
14 Look out behind ye! It's yer PAST catchin' up with ye, ye beer swillin', diaper faced, centipede's nightmare!
15 Attack my friends will ye? I'm gonna knot yer legs together ye butt ugly, dung diggin Rot Pocket!
16 Smile! Ye'll be remembered years from now when we all tell yer story on JOKE night, ye dark hearted, bunny stompin' bottom feeder!
17 Lemme spell out the rules for ye. I win. YOU LOSE! ye rodent faced, rotatin' snot rag!
18 Gonna send ye to the gods. Here's hopin' they don't send ye back! ye smarmy, lice ridden stink bomb!
19 Welcome to the land of FACE PUNCH. I'm the FIST! Ye fork faced, panty waist, puddle O' rat pee!
20 I'm gonna snatch ye bald an' spit ye out like a prune pit, ye greedy, ignorant malicious parasite!
21 Let's see how tall ye are stretched out on the ground ye nauseatin', back stabbin' spit weasel!
22 Stop defendin' yerself . It's only draggin' this out, ye sadistic, fart blastin' dipshyte!
23 Have ye ever heard BLADE music? Well dance to THIS ye scabby arsed, bladder suckin' cockroach!
24 You have made me VIOLENTLY disappointed, ye belly crawlin', spit droolin' contagious toad!
25 Time to cut ye' up for worm food, ye pee soaked, spawn of a punk alley harlot!
26 Does THIS hurt? I sure hope so, ye lyin', truth twistin' eel on legs!
27 Blow it out yer ears! ye screw eyed, penny lickin' sewer pump!
28 Just run off an' cry someplace. Yer makin' me weapon dirty, ye clumsy, tick blighted, walkin' bed pan!
29 It's all great fun 'til somebody loses an eye! ye grog faced, gold stealin' stench on legs !
30 One honest swineherd is worth more than a hundred of YOU, ye toe faced, reekin' sleazeball!
31 Welcome to PAIN TIME! Starring YOU! ye brute built, cow poxed powder monkey!
32 No grave for YOU crotch breath. I'm just gonna bury yer head, ye wind suckin', shyte brained smear o' wet rubbish!
33 Bite ME will ye? Chew on THIS ye bug brained, back bitin' bile bag !
34 Today is yer LAST day of the rest of me life, ye bum boiled, bar jumpin' racoon molester!
35 Sorry, is this a piece o' yer chest? ye slab sided, snuff snortin', greasey dingo buttwipe !
36 Good news today gutter spawn! I will nay TOUCH yer corpse for the loot, ye squint eyed, moose kissin' bag O' bat guano!
37 Happy now? Ye' have me FULL attention! Ye spud faced, pants soilin', spider-kissin' washoon !
38 A good luck day for YOU privy punk! I'm promotin' ye to fertilizer, ye worthless, dank smellin' possum crack!
39 Go ahead an' run! I LIKE a movin' target ye hairy, putrid, rat spawned stick O' manure!
40 May I be the FIRST to wish ye a happy death day, ye spaghetti-spined, useless rat scab!
41 I can't hear ye! Scream a bit louder ye clot nosed, copper stealin', spyrokeet gas bag!
42 Stinkweed has more sense than YOU, ye piddly little, breeze flappin' fig muncher!
43 Drop yer rusted, broke-arse garbage and DIE ye worm livered, bug chewin', clump O' compost!
44 Today yer guts meet DAYLIGHT! Ye rancid, bug-stuffed bull wanker!
45 Have a meal of me fist ye weasel hearted, worm suckin', spineless bastitch!
46 Get out me FACE, ye toad hatched, dizzy doggo's dinker!
47 Ye can surrender after I kill yer sorry ass ye puke faced, toad lickin', gutless kidneywipe!
48 No mercy for cruel bullies, ye brute minded, grinnin' weed spore!
49 Get back here! I ain't done breathin' in yer face ye rock brained, whiny little scabshyte!
50 Won't be long now a'fore yer dead, ye joy killin', amonia breath'd miniature pig!
51 What's this I hear about you breathin' my air ? ye chimp faced, weedy little hampster smacker!
52 Use that weapon to start diggin' yer grave, ye beetle headed, cork bottomed, hideous clown!
53 Stand still and get yer butt kicked up around yer ears ye bloated, snake lovin', pimple pocked puke bucket!
54 Yer just gonna keep on fightin' are ye? Give it up, ye crap-stuffed, tedious, frozen stick O' roach vomit!
55 Never fuss. I'll mail yer ears to yer friends ye crab arsed, bone pickin' face ache!
56 Would ye like to borrow a bandage fer a second? Ye crumblin' wall O' knotted fish guts!
57 It's high time ye' twisted in the wind, hangin' from a tree limb. Ye port swillin', sneaky, gaggin' reptile!
58 The Algae in a roof spout would make a better boss than YOU. Drop dead ye pointless, space wastin crumb sniffer!
59 Say yer sorry an I MAY just kill ya. Ye crab crawlin pan faced oyster sucker!
60 I'm gonna prop yer eyes open and turn yer dead face to the sun! ye grubby fisted, orphan whippin' latrine diver!
61 On yer feet and draw yer sword ye bottom feedin' slime chompin' biscuit weevil!
62 Ye flatter me with all this attention, but yer BORING. Ye mop headed, egg crunchin' dog-ape!
63 Smile! When I'm done slashin' ye to bits, ye'll have me surrounded! Ye slug faced paper-pushin' fartmeister!
64 Yer face cries out, beggin' to be buried in mud, ye bark nosed, tangle footed cheese goblin!
65 Here ye are friend! Lemme poke a few holes in ye to help drain out yer stupid. Ye straw brained pidgeon petter!
66 NOW ye pay the price for being YOU, rooster head! My life is NUTHIN' if it helps send ye to the nine hells!
67 Ye think ye have a hope in Hell of stayin' alive? Big bad arse fighter? Yer just a bug fart in a hurricane!
68 Acchhh . . . Go home and eat yer crayons, ye totterin', dim eyed walkin' stomach ache!
69 Bat faced Buffoon! Ye fight like a geriatric squid! Have a kick in the fork!
70 I WAS plannin' to bash yer fuggli face in, but I see somebody beat me to it, ye slobberin', retrograde cow patty!
71 Ye have only ONE chance to surrender, - Uhp . . . Too late. Shoulda' quit YESTERDAY ye chinless, diabolic sack O' maggots!
72 Ye don't even make a good MEAL! Ye lewd, lowlife, lickspittle lump O' leftovers!
73 Yer goin' face first into the Styx, ye chicken legged, foul mouthed streak O' lizard spoor!
74 Get busy and LOSE ye dried up lemon peel! Yer job as ''dead fodder'' is the only thing ye'll get right today!
75 I should dice ye to bits an' feed ye to a weed patch, ye dripnosed, dumbfounded, degenerate donkey dong!
76 Yer long past due on gettin' yer gas bag punctured, ye contemptible creepin' crotch grabber!
77 Think yer a miscreant? A malefactor? A mischief maker? Well ye'r not. Ye'r a low budget bandit who's about to get buried.
78 Ye dinna have ta' fall on yer sword. Ye can fall on MINE, ye pudding faced, pee spewin', putrid punk!
79 Feel free to drop dead any time. Dinna let me keep ye, ye reekin' reprobate rat bag.
80 Give back to nature little scum bum. There's just enough of ye to make a dingo's dinner!
81 I read about YOU ye smarmy little chump. I found yer name TWICE in the word ''assassin''.
82 Listen. When ye die, can I have yer booze flask? Ye shark hearted, double dealin' snake sucker!
83 Ye'll learn a good lesson today scabshyte. Pass it on to yer friends in the afterlife.
84 Shut yer gob an' drop yer weapons, ye numb nutted, cartwheelin', antsy Mcfancy Pants.
85 Heads Up seaweed face! Nay, really . . Hold yer head UP. I need to bash it off yer shoulders, ye gibberin' garlic headed, gangrenous, goat sphincter!
86 Not sure how long this'll take, but I'll take a STAB at it, ye tiny brained, lunatic bile volcano!
87 Make ye a bet? I bet I'm gonna smash ye into oblivion. Prize? All yer gold, ye rubber legged, twitchy little widow swindler!
88 I'm just hangin' about, waitin' for the REAL entertainment. Yer funeral, Ye ball-bustin' bouncy little barrage o' boredom.
89 We've wasted enough time dealin' with YOU. Drop dead already, ye rickety, crumb snappin', clam faced fungus hose!
90 Stop tryin' to kill me! I have a cold!
91 Ye keep spoilin' the view by standin' upright. Drop dead and stop movin', ye cowardly, poo flingin' harpy fart!
92 It's true. We haven't been properly introduced. Not that I CARE, ye savage, belchin' wicked wave o' body odor!
93 It's a right formal funeral for YOU. I'll roll yer grotesque corpse into that ditch over there, so SMILE! Ye can't ask for fairer than that.
94 Ye have inconvenienced me and I take umbrage at this. I shall therefore cut yer head off to express my disapproval.
95 Killed many folks along yer wicked road? Well think how overjoyed they'll be to see ye again, ye piddlin', pie faced pomegranate pit!
96 Great fortune for YOU today! I'm the world's best doctor. I'll cure ye of everything forever, ye grouchy, grizzled, grog sucker!
97 I must admit. Yer a moron of mickle might, but ye dress like an asylum inmate and ye smell like wet dog hair.
98 Yer dead. It just hasn't sunk in yet. Give it a few seconds Ye'll catch on
99 That's right! ANOTHER stab hole in yer raggedy clothes. Put THAT in yer pipe an puff it paprika pants!
100 Stop me if ye heard this one. There was a rank scumbag named . . . . Hey! Wake up! I Ain't finished the poem yet!