Random Bits of Pocket Loot

37 silver and a strange tangle of hooks, pitons, crampons and wires attached to a complex body harness. A tag is attached. It reads: ''The Cliffhanger 5000! Fool friends and enemies by appearing to jump or fall from a deadly cliff. Slip into the harness, secure the trailing wires to the edge-grabbing hardware included. Smack in the pitons and cover them with leaves or grass. Leap or 'fall' out of sight and silently hug the rock face. MINUTES of hilarity!

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What is all this?
"Loot" - Roll a d100 for the coins in column 1. - Roll a second d100 for the loot item in column 2.

Example: Rolling a "52" and a "97" Equals 26 silver and a silver duck call.
      1     50 gold 
      1     A silk pouch filled with fake gems.  

      2     1 silver 
      2     A velvet sleeping smock covered with the repeating pattern of a cartoon Goblin head.  

      3     49 gold 
      3     A single-use wand of ''Cloth-to-Tobacco''. It will transform any fabric ( worn, draped or carried ) into loose, fresh pipe tobacco. It will not work beyond ten feet from the target.  

      4     2 silver 
      4     A Trout. 'Dead for about four days. It is rank and gooey.  

      5     48 gold 
      5     A beautifully ornate and well made gold locket on a silver chain. Inside is a miniature painted still life of a bowl of fruit. Engraved on the back: ''Enid Spandau is a pimply faced, boyfriend stealing little strumpet''.  

      6     3 silver 
      6     A packet of onion jerky with Ostrich bile dipping sauce.  

      7     47 gold 
      7     A single-use ''Trumpet of Chimp Summoning''. A tiny brass trumpet that will disappear after producing a screaming Monkey somewhere within ten feet of the summoner. The little beastie will run wild and cause chaos for 1 to 6 minutes and then return to whatever jungle it was pulled from.  

      8     4 silver 
      8     A heavy white oblong of some hard material covered in strange glowing runes. A tag is attached by a strong ribbon. It reads: ''Shop Shell! - The merchant's best friend! Forget locks, alarms or traps. Worry not over corrupt city guards or night thieves. Place it on any counter and activate this enchanted ward when you close up shop. Any creature that attempts to break into your establishment will be instantly banished to the plane of nothing. One-Way . . . No return. Suffer no grief. - Erase the thief! SHOP SHELL!''  

      9     46 gold 
      9     A hand-sized nautilus shell carved from Dragon bone. Protruding from the shell is a tuft of soft, dry, white fibrous material much like a giant cotton ball. A tag is attached with a strong ribbon. It reads: This shell will dispense a lifetime supply of ''Deep Woods Toilet Moss''. Fourteen tonnes of it are stored on another plane and will be drawn from through this miracle shell as you need it. ''Deep Woods'' - Always a camper's best friend!  

      10     5 silver 
      10     A tightly folded square of strangely warm fabric with buttons at each corner. A tag is attached. It reads: ''Sun Store Pot Boiler'' - Spread this blanket out in direct warm sunlight for a full day. Fold it square when the sun goes down. Set it on stone or metal for safety. It will quickly grow hot enough to boil a full pot of water with no fire or smoke. And remember the ''Sun Store'' motto! Don't touch until it cools down Ya' crazy bastitch!  

      11     45 gold 
      11     A strange tangle of hooks, pitons, crampons and wires attached to a complex body harness. A tag is attached. It reads: ''The Cliffhanger 5000! Fool friends and enemies by appearing to jump or fall from a deadly cliff. Slip into the harness, secure the trailing wires to the edge-grabbing hardware included. Smack in the pitons and cover them with leaves or grass. Leap or 'fall' out of sight and silently hug the rock face. MINUTES of hilarity!  

      12     6 silver 
      12     A ''Mini-Moo'' cow collar. An enchanted collar that will shrink a bull or cow down to the size of your hand, and reduce the weight proportionally as well. Useful for transporting livestock of all varieties. Lasts until removed. Animal travel safety enclosures recommended.  

      13     44 gold 
      13     A palette of vicious defacing. Tag attached reads: ''The Snap Palette Replace-a-Face Art Improver!'' - Every stuffy old Manor or Grand Palace has grim and dusty portraits of forgotten ancestors or distant, noble cousins. Wipe the smiles and the faces off those decrepid old oil paintings. Replace them with YOURS! Make your most amusing face, snap the palette, and every single portrait in that structure will display your much more entertaining expression instantly. The palette may be used ONCE. The results last for as long as the paintings do.  

      14     7 silver 
      14     A tasty looking bone shaped dog treat. ''The Dog Bark Bakery Bone!'' A tag is attached. It reads: '' Silence a guard dog and keep it busy. Once this treat is snapped up and eaten, every bark from the patrolling pooch will pop out a warm, yummy cupcake right before its eyes! Lasts one hour.''  

      15     43 gold 
      15     A potion of Youth. The brand and its effects are widely known. ''Chelsey's Chug Cheat. A Temporary Treat!'' Restores your body back to the physical age of 21. Lasts 1 week. When it wears off, you die instantly and without warning.  

      16     8 silver 
      16     An amulet of devine fakery. Wear this palm-sized disk amulet and watch it display the icon of whichever god is the most popular in the region you are traveling in. In areas where gods are not worshipped, it displays a comforting puppy dog face.  

      17     42 gold 
      17     A surprisingly heavy and expensive tome. The pages of this large book display gruesome step-by-step detailed instructions and drawings. Title on the spine: ''Turn That Dried Up Gnoll Corpse Into a Fully Functioning Accordion!'' ( Music sheets in the appendix. )  

      18     9 silver 
      18     A surprisingly well-drawn vellum ''flip book'' animating a King falling down through the toilet seat of a guarderobe.  

      19     41 gold 
      19     A long chain of thin silk handkerchiefs tied together at the corners. They are in multiple festive bright colors. It takes a full minute to retrieve the whole string of them with continual pulling. On the end there is a note: ''Thanks for killing me you bat faced little turd. A POX on all your clan!''  

      20     10 silver 
      20     A potato peeler with a large grip. The grip is hollow and closed at the end with a screw cap. Inside is a dry, pink powder known commonly as ''Wild Vision Dust''.  

      21     40 gold 
      21     A single-use wand of ''Cloth-to-Coffee''. It will transform any fabric ( worn, draped or carried ) into loose, fresh coffee beans. It will not work beyond ten feet from the target.  

      22     11 silver 
      22     A strangely shaped, metal oil lamp. Slightly dirty. There are words engraved on the underside. ''Go ahead and rub this lamp. I ain't doin' NUTHIN for you.''  

      23     39 gold 
      23     A handwritten bundle of papers that were once a book. ''So You've Been Stabbed In the Head. What Now?''. Instructions for recovering.  

      24     12 silver 
      24     A quart-sized wooden tankard. It has ''World's Greatest Boss'' carved on the side.  

      25     38 gold 
      25     A wet, mashed up goo that can be identified after a moment as a breakfast. It was scrambled eggs, sausages and hash browns. No wrapping. No sack or pouch. Just a full breakfast stuffed into this pocket.  

      26     13 silver 
      26     A fake spell scroll labeled ''Tree Tipper! Turn a full grown tree upside-down right where it stands!'' When unrolled it displays some badly drawn symbols and shapes along with garbled nonsense words.  

      27     37 gold 
      27     A whale's tooth with an extremely rude scrimshaw drawing on it.  

      28     14 silver 
      28     A thin pamphlet listing a dozen ways to start a violent brawl at an Inn or Tavern.  

      29     36 gold 
      29     An impressive set of parchments with detailed plans for turning monster bones of all sizes into deck furniture and kitchen utensils.  

      30     15 silver 
      30    a small bag of strangely shaped caltrops that fit together in different ways to build little crude castles, animals or figures.   

      31     35 gold 
       31     An illustrated guide to the rare skill of sheathing your sword with one hand without looking at it. SUPER impressive!  

      32     16 silver 
      32     A crudely ink-stamped coupon for 50% OFF on classes at ''Panky Spood's School of Cool Looking Combat Moves''.  

      33     34 gold 
      33     A long scroll of city names, containing the best amount to offer crooked guards for ''getting things done''.  

      34     17 silver 
      34     A quickly written list of things NOT to say to a wood nymph.  

      35     33 gold 
      35     A scribbled set of instruction for turning a lute into four different types of lethal weapons.  

      36     18 silver 
      36     A scribbled out guide to Goblin swear words with pronunciation notes for each.  

      37     32 gold 
      37     A sharpened Wyvern rib letter opener.  

      38     19 silver 
      38     A ''Belt of Escaping''. It looks like normal brown leather belt. Slipped into a split compartment at the back are a thin, flat sharp blade and a flexible lock-pick.  

      39     31 gold 
      39     A chain mail pouch with a handle. It contains a pearl-sized ball of mystery metal that weighs 60 pounds.  

      40     20 silver 
      40     A small bellows, workable with one hand, that creates a prolonged duck quack through strips of leather and tin where the air comes out.  

      41     30 gold 
      41     A set of ''auto dance'' bun forks. Jab them each into a dinner roll and they will begin an ancient skip and kick dance.  

      42     21 silver 
      42     A portable ''chess set of loud amusement''. Set the board up and make a first move. The pieces all suddenly burst into a shouting chaos of very amusing ''smack talk'' at their opposing sides.  

      43     29 gold 
      43     An air skin stop bottle with ''Eterno Lava'' (tm). Shake the bottle and it becomes a subtle orange light source and hand warmer.  

      44     22 silver 
      44     A thin, cheaply made, stamped metal replica of an Ektheose Dragon shield. On the unpainted side there is a small label that reads ''Always bring a friend to visit Master Mungo's Souvenir Land!''  

      45     28 gold 
      45     detailed instructions on how to build a trap. The boiling raccoon manure exploder.  

      46     23 silver 
      46     A sword belt. That is, a belt that transforms into a sword when it is slipped away from any clothing and the buckle is firmly gripped.  

      47     27 gold andw  
      47     A bear growl mini-doll. This small stuffed bear toy is enchanted to create an alarmingly loud and realistic bear growl in the immediate area when its tummy is squeezed.  

      48     24 silver 
      48     A pair of black leather ''spider walk'' gloves. They do not effect the wearer in any way, but when removed they join together to imitate a spider and scurry into the pocket, pouch or bag they were last stored in.  

      49     26 gold 
      49     A ''monkey fist'' knot tied in horse hair twine.  

      50     25 silver 
      50     A collection of 7 dice. All in strange shapes and different number totals. Black, with white numbers.  

      51     25 gold 
       51     A thumb-sized, solid platinum Mobius loop.  

      52     26 silver 
      52     A palm-sized golden curtain tassel. Possibly cut from a wealthy person's drawing room decor.  

      53     24 gold 
       53     A full head mask of a fruit bat. It's made from dyed sheep skin and has sharp wooden ''teeth''.  

      54     27 silver 
      54     A pair of bulky slippers shaped like cartoon eagle feet.  

      55     23 gold 
       55     A forged pass to enter ''Marzipan's''. (A High-End gambling club in Port Stencher).  

      56     28 silver 
      56     A glass prism that splits a stream of sunlight into 7 shades of grey.  

      57     22 gold 
       57     A turtle shell Yo-Yo.  

      58     29 silver 
      58     A flat, square rectangle of glass painted blue. Engraved into the glass are the letters of the common alphabet.  

      59     21 gold 
       59     An oddly carved ball at the end of a long string. It makes a loud, high-pitched whistle when swung around in a circle overhead.  

      60     30 silver 
      60     A shrunken head with a well preserved dragonfly tattoo on the forehead.  

      61     20 gold 
       61     A tiny toy boat carved out of solid lead.  

      62     31 silver 
      62     A small, mysterious bag of seemingly un-cuttable fabric. It has no opening. Inside there seems to be a writhing, growling creature of an unknown shape.  

      63     19 gold 
       63     An introductory letter for admittance to Doctor Feneggle's School of Head Lump Reading.  

      64     32 silver 
      64     A fortune teller's prophesy for today's date. ''All will go well for you. Nothing but success and triumph!''.  

      65     18 gold 
      65     A tube-shaped crystal with one clear end. When peered through, it displays a full-color beautiful riverside town image.  

      66     33 silver 
      66     A steel ocarina.  

      67     17 gold 
      67     A small bottle with a label that reads ''Lisa Wilamina's Terror Pills Of Deadly, Wretched Horribleness''.  

      68     34 silver 
      68     A small tin model of a piglet with spring loaded back legs. When wound up and released, the toy will do a back-flip.  

      69     16 gold 
       69     An electrum necklace with an emblem showing three phases of the moon.  

      70     35 silver 
      70     A thin cone of vellum paper holding crumpled bits of salted cornmeal doggy treats.  

      71     15 gold 
       71     A chest lock with no key.  

      72     36 silver 
      72     A small, tangled up skeleton marionette.  

      73     14 gold 
      73     A thumb-sized golden replica of a platypus.  

      74     37 silver 
      74     A silk pouch with a fist-sized lump of melted candies inside.  

      75     13 gold 
      75     A large bandana with zebra stripes on it and the words ''Happy Customer of Desiac's Mid-Town Pleasure Palace''.  

      76     38 silver 
      76     A bundle of twisted horse hide strips woven together to form a tree shape.  

      77     12 gold 
       77     A beautiful and ornate jewel encrusted chalice with an engraving inside the lip. ''They went to Ektheose and all I got was this lousy chalice.''  

      78     39 silver 
      78     A cup-on-a-stick ball on a string game. Printed around the outside of the toy are the words ''Visit Splendor Pile!''  

      79     11 gold 
       79     A solid glass paperweight with a 100% real looking human warrior figure at the center of it.  

      80     40 silver 
      80     A wooden snuffbox with a VERY lewd scene carved into the top.  

      81     10 gold 
      81     A pair of undershorts with a repeating pattern of cartoon trolls on it.  

      82     41 silver 
      82     A leather cat collar that has ''PRINCESS'' burned onto it.  

      83     9 gold 
       83     fifteen sets of bootlaces bundled tightly together in an ivory napkin ring.  

      84     42 silver 
      84     A thick walled potion bottle, holding a dead praying mantis.  

      85     8 gold 
       85     A ring that makes a loud, whizzing siren noise if blown into.  

      86     43 silver 
      86     A magnifying magnifying glass. Known also as ''Brock and Sandler's Sun Point Incinerator Disk''. Click a small button at the end of this marvel and it will grow to three feet across. Direct the rays of the sun through it onto your food and it will sizzle until it bursts into flame. At noon, it has been seen to actually MELT iron! Click the handle button again to reduce it back to normal desk magnifier size  

      87     7 gold 
      87     A dinner fork with a grip that has fake gems embedded in it.  

      88     44 silver 
      88     A market map of a city. No name on it.  

      89     6 gold 
       89     An unusually powerful load stone.  

      90     45 silver 
      90     instructions burned onto sheep skin, showing how to tie a clove hitch.  

      91     5 gold 
       91     An oblong, smooth, rattleback river stone.  

      92     46 silver 
      92     A Master-Crafted golden astrolabe from a foreign land. Very nearly PRICELESS for where you are.  

      93     4 gold 
       93     A taxidermy glass eye for use in mounting a shark's head.  

      94     47 silver 
      94     A folded, brightly colored party mask depicting a dog's eyes and snout.  

      95     3 gold 
       95     A waterproof, leather sack holding four fried chickens and a bottle of ale.  

      96     48 silver 
      96     A very small, hand-drawn guide booklet to edible plants.  

      97     2 gold 
       97     A silver duck call.  

      98     49 silver 
      98     A ram skin tube of hair loss prevention cream.  

      99     1 gold 
       99     A tightly wrapped packet of raspberry jerky pellets.  

      100     50 silver 
      100     A Wyvern hand puppet.  

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